Diversity Coach
Hello, Ask Adri,
Juneteenth has me looking for advice about diversity discussions. As a POC, I get questions from white associates and colleagues about racial issues, more frequently around events or related dates.
These discussions can be draining, but these folks are well intentioned, and putting themselves out there.
Should I feel bad not always helping? I have come to feel like they need to do the work themselves, and are ultimately responsible for their own development.
Thanks,
Diversity Coach in Minneapolis
Dear Diversity Coach,
First of all, I am sorry you are experiencing this — there are LAYERS to why this is a tiresome and frustrating experience — from the obvious racism/tokenization, the assumption of a certain body of knowledge based on identity, the unacknowledged and uncompensated extra labor, to the lack of accountability for their own learning from your colleagues — it’s a lot!
I am operating under the assumption that, while you are a person of color, you are NOT actually employed primarily as a DEI professional. If you were, to some extent these requests might fall into the purview of ‘your job’. You ostensibly have some other, very full time job which you would like to focus on doing. Which means it is absolutely NOT your job to be the go to diversity fountain of knowledge for your colleagues (not while google exists and remains free!) Why not? Because, first and foremost, that isn’t the job your employer is paying you to do. Secondly, because while lived experience is valuable, you may lack the expertise that would make you the BEST source of this information for your colleagues.
So that is the “is this theoretically my job” answer — no, of course not. But we know work interactions are more complex than that, and this approach can feel very not team-player-ish. And, you probably feel invested in DEI advancing in your workplace as a person of color employed there. Still, you deserve to balance your commitment to team and equity with your own well being. So below are two options that attempt to offer nuance.
The Redirect Approach: Most large companies have a DEI ecosystem that spans functions from HR, to training and development, etc. — I would direct my colleagues there IF such a set of relevant resources exist at your company. If not? Google, baby, Google! You can start training Pavlov’s initiative lacking dogs to go find their own information by responding to their questions with “I don’t know, why don’t you look it up”, or “I think we have a resource on the company intranet”, or something to that effect.
The Selective Consult Approach: Whether it is an influential leader or a mentee/mentor relationship, there are going to be times when it makes sense to offer your not strictly job specific consultation. Whether you feel you owe it to develop a mentee, or you know education will have an outsized positive impact because the recipient has a lot of power, there are times you will choose to be generous with your time and energy — and that’s ok too.
Being a person of color in the workplace is complex and often fraught. I am a firm believer that we cannot pour from an empty cup — so keep an eye on your energy and well being when weighing these decisions. There is no hard and fast right or wrong — just do whats right for you and aligned to your morality.
In sincere solidarity,
Adri