Producing An Heir
Adri,
We have three little girls under the age of six. Im pregnant with baby number 4 and we just had our gender reveal party with family today. He has really been wanting a son ever since our first child was born. I personally don’t care about the gender. He, on the other hand, ruined our gender reveal party and says he isn’t sorry. We counted down and cut the cake and the icing was pink. I was so happy but he yelled “f no” threw the plastic knife across the yard and kicked the whole table over. Our other daughters looked at their dad and said “you don’t like girls?” He stomped off and told me it was my fault we were having another girl. I have no control over what we have but my kids and I will always remember how he acted over this gender reveal. I get people can be disappointed with gender but throwing things and kicking things is too much.
Dear Producing An Heir*,
There is so much to unpack here. I know pregnant moms aren’t often centered enough, so first of all, congratulations on your pregnancy and upcoming new addition. Sending you strength, peace, and a sisyphean level of patience to deal with your partner. You don’t seem to be asking for anything directly beyond validation that your partner’s behavior is a bit much and I have never been more prepared to validate something.
Nuance is so important and sometimes it isn’t called for. This is one of those times. Your partner is out of line, out of order, out of pocket, out of his everloving mind. I feel like the ways he’s out of line honestly deserve a list so:
This is y’alls FOURTH baby. Not your first. This behavior would still be abhorrent if it was your first, but like, this is not his first rodeo. He by now understands that this is a potential outcome!
Opting into a gender reveal knowing the outcome is this triggering and heavy for him was such a demonstration of a lack of self awareness.
The behavior at the gender reveal is a demonstration of a lack of self control and respect for you and the family you already have.
You didn’t ask, but your husband owes everyone who witnessed this Henry VIII level shenanigans an apology. I would ask if he was royalty, but even if he was, Queen Elizabeth I very neatly settled the issue of a female heir. The long and short of it — your husband needs to get a grip, and maybe a male pet.
Wishing you all the happiness and beautiful sisterhood in the world.
Best,
Adrienne